“We’re not in love anymore.”
“She doesn’t care about me like she used to.”
“I think she’s screwing around with another guy.”
“I’m never enough for her.”
“I deserve better.”
“I’m not happy anymore.”
“We have kids together, I can’t just leave.”
(Please note, the “she’s” can most definitely be exchanged for “he’s”.)
These are all excuses I’ve heard from men or women who cheat, or want to cheat. That’s just it…they’re EXCUSES. Pathetic ones, at that. Do any or all of the above relate to you? THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. If the relationship is something worth fighting for, then do everything in your power to save it. At least in the end, you can truly say you’ve tried and carry on with your life. If it’s not, what are you doing? Yes, leaving is that easy. If you have kids, it should be even more of a precedence to leave. Do you want them growing up in an unhappy household? It’s better you get out while they’re young than putting them through a morbid childhood where you blame them for sticking around for as long as you did. Speaking from experience…hello, daddy issues right over here.
If you do decide to stick around for whatever reason, that’s your choice and more power to ya….but unless you are in a mutual agreement with your partner that allows you to be with others, be a man (or woman) and live with your decision in an honorable way.
I know what you’re thinking. What the fuck does this single girl who parties all the god damn time know about relationships? Duly noted BUT…. I was once, twice, in a relationship. Long relationships. 8 years and 3 years.
Yes, that means I spent my teen years and the better part of my twenties coupled up and in love. I guess you can say I’m somewhat of a late bloomer to the single, party years. Was I tempted by other men? Sure. Did I cheat? No. I knew what I had with my significant other was far more valuable than what one night and a few minutes would be. It wasn’t worth it. The one time I got close to cheating was when I finally knew my relationship was over, and I ended it the same day. I, too, had the excuses above but I finally decided to act on it.
You see, I’m a hypocrite. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I’ve been cheated on, and I’ve been the girl the guy has cheated with. The amount of married and taken men that hit on my friends and I is RIDICULOUS and is incredibly sad. I had this fucked up mentality of, “Oh well, I don’t know who she is so I have no loyalty to her.” Knowing how much it hurts. Knowing the amount of pain it caused me when my ex cheated on me….multiple times. Although a heartbreak is a figurative term, it might as well be literal because that is exactly what it feels like. I hate I allowed myself to have that mentality and be that person because ESPECIALLY as women, we have to stick together. I disrespected her, and I most definitely disrespected and objectified myself.
What this all comes down to is if you want to do single things….be single. It’s that simple. Live life on your own terms and have nothing to be apologetic for. If you think for a second you will find happiness outside of your marriage or relationship, you are sadly mistaken. I’m sorry my friend, but you need to find happiness within yourself first.